#Don’tBeADick
So this is sometimes a struggle everyday, but it is one that I think many more need to endeavor to achieve. Don’t be a Dick! It is just a current rehash of the golden rule I know. But it is colorful for my generation and something that needs to be use in real life and in the online world. Wil Wheaton brought it to the forefront of the internet nearly a decade ago in the realm of online gaming but I think it needs to be even more so used in real life.
Nearly every strife for equality is a battle of this rule. Equality of the sexes….don’t be a dick. Equality of sexualities….don’t be a dick. Equality of races….don’t be a dick. Attempt to give every desire for your own life to others until they prove themselves to be truly an asshole. If others are assholes, then they don’t deserve your attention or care.
When dealing with an asshole though comes the real battle of Don’t be a Dick. Even at this point, you must attempt not to be a Dick. Wasting your energy on an asshole is worthless 99.6% of the time. I have found it much better to stand your ground when dealing with an asshole. Assholes usually want attention. Assholes usually want to make themselves the most important person in the room. By standing your ground, you can effectively ignore the asshole, depriving them what they want the most. But at the same time, you are not giving away yourself. You don’t need to be lesser when dealing with an asshole. You also don’t need to attack to make yourself look bigger to the asshole. Often when you attack, you are on the losing path of becoming the asshole yourself.
You don’t need to prove yourself to be right when you know you are right. Usually, a calm statement of proof will win out over the screaming ranting asshole standing in front of you. You will NOT win over the asshole, no. You will win by not being the Dick. This isn’t a battle of you vs them. It is a battle of you vs you.
In life, I have learned that you are the only person you have to please and be happy with in the long term. People come and go in life. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It is how life works. Working to not be a Dick within your relationships means they are positive and were worthwhile even though if they ended.
The second most battle of the Don’t be a Dick is the balance of Self vs Others when not in a conflict. Knowing when to stand your ground, being calm and collected vs Knowing when to use your Firm Voice vs Knowing when to walk away, these three things are the juggling act that humanity must attempt. Don’t give up and allow others to belittle you. Don’t allow them to take away your sense of self or power. Going on the attack is not always powerful in the long term. But know when you need to speak up. Don’t waver. Stand your ground. Speak your mind, ideas and ideals. But then also know when to walk away either due to dealing with someone that will never change or to know to walk away, reassess and improve yourself when you find yourself in fault. Yes, you will be at fault at times. You will be wrong. But guess what, everyone is from time to time. Only a fool thinks they are perfect. Listen to the other side. Remember that equality is a balance between the two extremes.
So wake up. Be proud of yourself. Learn and Grow. Don’t be a Dick.